LOS SANTOS – Move over, high-speed chases and dramatic arrests—Captain Adam Vance of the Los Santos Police Department might just be putting the “cool” back in law enforcement. Rumor has it the veteran officer has traded in his badge (well, part-time) for a thermostat, moonlighting as the city’s most unlikely fridge tycoon under the oh-so-original banner, Vance Refrigeration. Yes, you heard that right.
Sources say Vance is wheeling and dealing used refrigerators out of a Cypress Flats warehouse, flipping them for a profit that allegedly rivals his LSPD salary. This entrepreneurial escapade has sparked both eyebrow raises and chuckles within the force. “We’re out here fighting crime, and Vance is out there fighting freezer burn,” quipped one anonymous officer between donut bites.
While some residents are pondering the ethics of a police captain moonlighting as an appliance peddler, others seem unfazed. “As long as my fridge keeps my Sprunk cold and he keeps the streets safe, I don’t care if he’s the next Gordon Ramsay of refrigeration,” shrugged one Mirror Park local. Fair enough.
Naturally, Vance has kept his lips sealed tighter than a freezer door. But if the buzz is to be believed, his side hustle’s warehouse might be busier than an LSPD precinct on a Saturday night. With no official complaints lodged, the captain might just be skating on thin ice… but hey, at least it’s refrigerated.
So, is this an outrageous urban legend or just the latest example of Los Santos’ absurd reality? One thing’s for sure: whether it’s justice or GE appliances, Captain Vance is keeping things chill. Stay frosty, Los Santos.
