SAN ANDREAS ─ In what can only be described as a shocking display of forgetfulness, the State of San Andreas has been hit with a heavy snowstorm that’s been predicted for over a week. While December snow is hardly an anomaly, locals are still reacting as if they’ve never seen a flake in their lives. With no end in sight, the state is now bracing for yet another chaotic winter season.
Road conditions are deteriorating faster than you can say “black ice,” with drivers across the state, most of whom are more accustomed to sunbaked highways than winter roads, doing their best impression of someone who’s never heard of a snow tire. Reports of people accelerating through stop signs and attempting to drift around corners have flooded emergency lines, while others are simply panicking and abandoning their cars in the middle of the street.
For those braving the roads, the advice is simple: If you’re not sure how to drive in snow, just stay home. It’s safer for everyone involved. But if you absolutely must go out, remember the basics: slow down, don’t slam on the brakes, and for the love of all things frozen, don’t tailgate the person ahead of you who’s already losing control.
So, buckle up, San Andreas. It will be a bumpy, slippery ride—because apparently, no one remembers how to drive in snow.
